Taking lessons from her own life, Mary Jo Buttafuoco teaches young people to avoid toxic relationships and inspires students to demand better, more loving relationships.
Mary Jo is the author of Getting It Through My Thick Skull: Why I Stayed, What I Learned, and What Millions of People Involved with Sociopaths Need to Know
Relationships start the day we are born and define us throughout our lives. We start relationships with our parents and siblings, setting us up for a lifetime of interacting with friends, classmates, co-workers and partners.
While some judge their lives or others’ by paychecks or job titles, many others understand that without healthy, trusting relationships—nothing much else matters. This is a lesson too seldom shared with young people. The quality of your friendships, your relationships and your self esteem are the true key to a happy, fulfilling life.
Mary Jo learned these lessons the hard way.
In May of 1992, she was shot in the head, in front of her home, by a 17-year-old girl. In the media frenzy that followed, Mary Jo and the entire world learned that her husband, Joey Buttafuoco, had been involved in an affair with the shooter, Amy Fisher. Fisher had been only 16 when the affair with Mary Jo’s husband began.
The Buttafuocos and Amy Fisher became national tabloid sensations. While Mary Jo was struggling to recover from her near-fatal injuries, she endured national curiosity and speculation about her marriage and her family. For years—while television movies were made and her married name became a national punch line—she stood by her husband, enduring constant pain and numerous surgeries. Her focus and priority was getting well and raising her two children, age 9 and 12 at the time of the incident.
Seven years later, Mary Jo finally got the strength to leave her marriage and began to rebuild her life.
Although many of today’s college students were just children at the time of her shooting, Mary Jo believes that her message of recognizing and escaping unhealthy relationships is an important one for the current college generation. Mary Jo’s story might be unique, but her message is universal.
Almost everyone can relate to her story in some way—from her strict Catholic upbringing and almost pathological need to please her parents; her idea that she could “fix” and change her husband’s behavior if she loved him enough; and suffering a nervous breakdown rather than ask for help. Mary Jo persevered through it all, raising her children, leaving her marriage, healing her physical and emotional wounds and beginning her life again at the age of 45.
You go girl! I am so happy to read about your recovery and progress in your life. We have learned much from your spirit, and your reflections. Thank you for being a survivor and a winner.
Elizabeth, Reader Testimonial
Getting It Through Your Thick Skull: Recognizing and Avoiding Toxic Relationships
Few individuals in our society know more about escaping toxic relationships than Mary Jo. Few people’s lives so clearly illustrate the importance of healthy, positive, loving and trustful relationships.
Mary Jo’s keynote borrows heavily from her own story, but she goes a step farther—helping both male and female students recognize the difference between good and toxic relationships. More than anything, young men and women will emerge from Mary Jo’s program empowered to demand better, more loving relationships throughout their lives.
Although parts of her story are tragic, Mary Jo speaks to young people in a hopeful way. She uses humor, and her dry wit inspires and empowers. She is the perfect speaker for healthy relationships programming, women’s programs, violence prevention observances and more.
Mary Jo's Bio
These experiences have molded Mary Jo into an exceptional educator on toxic relationships and sociopathy. Having escaped her situation and rebuilt her life, Mary Jo can testify to the dangers of staying in relationships with sociopathic people.
In 2009, Mary Jo published her first book: Getting It Through My Thick Skull: Why I stayed, What I Learned, and What Millions of People Involved with Sociopaths Need to Know.
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